LAYER ONE: THE OUTSIDE
- name: Angeli
- eye color: Dark brown
- hair style/color: Long, straight, dark…dyed it to light brown tho
- clothing style: Anything that’s comfortable. Rly. But I like long sleeved shirts and skinny jeans.
- best physical feature: My ass. Hahaha. No rly.
LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE
- your fears: Death
- your guilty pleasure: SHINee idiots, Lee Jinki, You Who Came from the Stars, Sherlock, More Onew… and more SHINee. Book hauls. Make up hauls.
- ambitions for the future: Nothing grand, I just want my family to be healthy and secure
LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS
- your first thoughts waking up: I wanna sleep some more. Hehe.
- what you think about most: Work. I hate worrying btw. But I can’t help it.
- what you think about before bed: Will I be able to end up with Onew or not? Prolly not.
- you think your best quality is: I love listening to others.
LAYER FOUR: WHAT’S BETTER?
- single or group dates: Anywhere with Onew will do. I guess.
- beauty or brains: Jinki’s got it all. Why pick just one? Haha. I pick Jinki.
- dogs or cats: Dogs.
LAYER FIVE: DO YOU.
- lie: Yes.
- believe in yourself: Sometimes.
- esteem: I’m okay.
- believe in love: Of course.
- want someone: On to the yu.
LAYER SIX: EVER?
- been on stage: Yup.
- done drugs: Prescribed drugs yes, illegal ones? Nah.
- changed who you were to fit in: Lol, this happens to society a lot. I mean, for example, I could go live my life just by being unemployed but I am trying to fit into the standards of society so I work… so no one can call or judge me for being a bum. But if I had a choice, I’d like to stay home and worry about I dunno, nothing. But instead I’m out there, working, making money.
LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES
- favorite color: Green.
- favorite animal: Anything that doesn’t crawl creepily.
- favorite movie: Like Stars on Earth? And whole lot more. I guess.
- favorite game(s): Guitar Hero, The Sims, Unblock Me. HAHAHA.
LAYER EIGHT: AGE
- day your next birthday will be: Saturday
- how old will you be: 22 omg.
- does age matter: Kinda. Especially in Kpop.
나는 이런 사람이야…
Okay, first and foremost, I need more space for my feels okay? Just done watching You Who Came from the Stars episode 12 like, I need time to breathe.
That last conversation Song Yi and Min Joon had is the turning point of the whole series. Cheon Song-yi goes “I will accept whatever you throw at me, I don’t care what you’ll say, I can handle it. IDGAF!” And when Do Min-joon finally tells her honestly, “You’re curious about my real age, aren’t you? To tell you the truth I am 400 years old.” and Cheon Song-yi’s like, “OMG, it seems like you hit your head so hard from the last episode, let’s go home.” and Do Manager’s like, I ain’t kidding you girl, lemme show you some of my magical powers. Bam! The display shatters like what Moriarty did in Season 2, Episode 3 of Sherlock.
And Do Min-joon’s like, “This is who I am… This is the kind of person I am… Do you still not give a fuck?” Hahaha. Of course he didn’t say that, it was somewhat, “Do you still not care?”
And Episode 12 ends like that, now I’ll be waiting for another eternity (in this case a week) so I can finally see what comes after that last convo they had. I’m assuming Song-yi will be like *run, run, run* and she’ll be in some in-denial phase, and Min-joon will be like *sob, sob, sob* *mope, mope, mope* I-shouldn’t-have-told-her-now-she-doesn’t-like-me-as-much-anymore. But then Song-yi’ll be like, “No, I don’t care. I still love him. Even if he’s an alien.” and he’ll be like, “OMG Song-yi, I love you so much!”
And then Hui-kyung’s brother Jae-kyung will be like, “Noooo! You will not be happy as long as I’m alive!!!” and Min-joon will all be like, “Nooooo! You can’t hurt my Song-yi!!!” but then I think Min-joon will just become weaker and weaker the longer he stays on Earth. And he’ll be human. And he’ll come save Song-yi for the nth time again, and he’ll have no super powers anymore and she’ll be like, DO MIN-JOON-SSI!!! YOU CAN’T DIE!!! What about the children we’ve been planning together!!! NOOOO!!!
Well, of course that’s just my exaggeration. I can’t know for sure anyway what’ll be the new plot twists the awesome writer-noona/unnie has in mind. But y’know. Haha, I can dream, can’t I?
Here’s the deal. Minjoon and Songyi will have a happy ending. I’m aiming for bittersweet (‘cause all them Koreans love bittersweet endings, *coughs* Rooftop Prince *coughs* City Hunter *coughs*). Hui-kyung and Semi will start liking each other, Semi’s brother will catch Jae-kyung. Songyi’s manhwa bookstore owner friend will find her perfect match. Minjoon will not leave, hopefully, and become fully human and grow old with Songyi.
Okay, Imma stop typing here for now. I was just overwhelmed by the last two episodes… Hence, this entry.
Happy new year everybody! It’s my mom’s birthday again. So there’s an abundance of good food on our dining table today. Last night wasn’t so bad, too. Our neighbor kind of prepared a feast for our street and we joined in. Happy, happy new year.
Food. Hahaha. I’m so happy. I like new years, our family doesn’t really celebrate Christmas eve. I can’t recall if we ever did tho, I think what we used to do before (while we still lived in Caloocan) is have a small gathering with family friends and like just celebrate Christmas together. Now that we’re far away—literally in the mountains, we don’t have that anymore.
Anyway, it’s new year’s and I’m feeling good. Tonight is Sherlock's comeback; I've waited a year for this (a year because it hasn't been long since I became a fan). I can't wait to see Sherlock and John together. Ah! This is priceless! The joy of being a fangirl.
And yeah, I’ve also been watching You Who Came from the Stars, since it came on. And I’m totally in love with Kim Soohyun (as I’ve mentioned in my previous entry, either Onew or Soohyun will do, rly, thank you God haha).
So, so. I’ve been thinking for some time if I should list some of the goals I want to achieve this year, realistically achieve I mean. So I won’t put marry Lee Jinki; become Mrs. Lee Jinki or Mrs. Kim Soohyun here, because that’s so suntok sa buwan.
Here are some of my faith goals this year:
1. Find a better job. Better in terms of environment, an 8am-5pm job is so much better than a flexi-timed one, don’t want to be a hypocrite and I hate to say this to myself right now but a job with a better pay. I honestly told myself last year that it doesn’t matter how much I’ll be making in a job as long as I love it, but no, that is so wrong. This isn’t the life I’d imagined after graduation. I don’t want to be miserable for the rest of my life. Please.
2. Read more books. It’s now my third year joining Goodreads’ reading challenge. In 2012, I read more than 30 books where I challenged myself for 20. In 2013, I read 137 books where I challenged myself for 50. This year, I’m planning on reading 75 or more. Leggo!
3. Write more. I haven’t been writing consistently the past year, it was either because of school or the job I have now. But I pledge to write more this year, even if it’s complete nonsense. I swear I would write more so I could release my tension and stress on a regular basis. Keeping things to myself drives me crazy.
4. Learn more about the basics of “dolling up”. Make up, yes! I’m not a strong believer of dolling up before but I am so into it now. Thanks to my University best friends who have convinced me that it is never wrong to wear make up for yourself. It’s for self-improvement after all. You have to feel confident about yourself. And this is one way of achieving that. I love you guise. I overspent on make-up this holiday season, rly. And I also swore to myself that if I would start “beautifying” myself it won’t be because I’m impressing others, I’m doing it for myself. Because I want to and not because I need to, thank you very much. Haha.
5. Earn more. Save more. I have no idea where I’ll be a year from now, but hopefully when I get there, I have more savings in the bank. Right now I’m srsly bankrupt. I’m sorry savings account. I know you feel so used. I want to buy a car before I turn 27 or when I’m 27. I wanna bring my family to different places. We need it. And I need to… use my passport.
6. Have more time for myself. When you get to know me, I’m rly, rly different okay. I have different kinds of personalities; I’m way talkative online, not really in person (or unless you think I’m really talkative, I don’t talk that much tho I talk loud haha). I enjoy solitude not because I’m emo or a loner, I just like time for myself. I prefer to work alone. Working alone is so much better. That’s the kind of person I am, maybe that’s the reason why I can’t stand being in a relationship for so long (not that I’ve been in many relationships—I’ve only had one my whole life). I want my alone time.
7. Get rid of my fear of going home alone at night. I know this is where you go, “Didn’t you just say you like some alone time?” Well, this is different. I like daytime more than I like nighttime now. I’m scared of bad people who are out there to do bad things. I hate to go home late at night without anyone to go home with. I hate riding buses alone. I don’t ride buses alone anymore. Cab fares aren’t so bad, but if you have salary like mine then you’ve to think about saving up for transpo.
8. Be more economical. Thrifty, thrifty. There’s always this discussion about economy over quality. Well, I’ve always been for quality before but now, I’m going the other way. Being kuripot isn’t a bad thing if you’re doing it for the sake of your savings account. I promise to not eat too much, too. I’ve been eating way too much that I’ve gained a few pounds specifically in my tummy area. Not cool Angeli, not cool. Now I have to lose these fats. Don’t go binge eating. Don’t buy things you don’t need, if you have to make sure to use your extra savings. Don’t ever, ever steal from your savings. Just use money that’s enough. Stop impulse buying (oh my gosh, I need to control myself haha).
9. Post more pictures on Tumblr. If you know my personality (which in this case you don’t, clearly), I hate selfies. I abhor selfies. I don’t take selfies. There’s nothing wrong with it really, I just don’t like taking pictures of myself. I see myself from time to time so I don’t need others to see my face from time to time. It’s annoying to me. So no offense if you’re a fan of the #selfie. I’m not. But this year I’ll try to post more pictures on Tumblr, not necessarily of me, but pictures relating/related to me (hopefully I get
my lazy assto choose and upload pictures, help me on this please).
10. Rest more. This is the best thing I am looking forward to this year. I need more rest time. Aside from time for myself. Because when I say time for myself it could be out shopping (lol, I’m a fan of shopping now but since I said I’d be more economical I’ll try my best), reading (you know I love this but it stresses the eyes), or simply spending hours and hours on the Internet ; these still causes stress so I still need more rest time for myself. I don’t know, I think I should plan on something like an appropriation of time for doing something like this and that. I think that would be useful.
So there goes my top 10. I bet there will be more goals I could or would come up with in a span of 365 days. But these will be mine for now. Another year has passed and there are still more years to come. I’m just grateful that I’ve overcome all the challenges of the past year. And it’s all thanks to God.
I’ve really, really been a very pasaway daughter, God. Forgive me. I’ve been truly a busy gal that I forgot my quiet times with you. But I hope this year I get back to spending more time with you.
11. Spend more time with God. Because I’ve been away from Him for too long now. I don’t even know how I was able to do that. But I’m going back to Him, running back to Him right now as He welcomes me back with open arms.
I’ve been pretty selfish lately. And I still sound selfish now. I miss my 2012 self really. 2013 has been good but I haven’t been good to myself. I hope that this year I become a better version of myself. I pray to get things back on track. No more distractions. No more temporary happiness. It will hurt now but think of the joy that will come after all the pain. Major goal: become a better person.
I know I curse every now and then, but that’s just me. I’m not going to brag about my Christian ways because let’s just say that I’ve not been acting like one. But thank God I can always come back to Him and He’s always there to welcome me.
The end. ‘Til next time. :)
Hi there people, guys, humans. It has been a year full of random thoughts from me again. Well, if you felt it. I think I’ve just been spending much of my time reading books this year rly, I’ve even exceeded my reading challenge by almost a hundred books (challenged myself for 50, I’m over 130 books now, 137 exactly, if we’re going to include my current read: Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami).
Thoughts on what’s happened this year:
It’s been a big blur. Lol, I’m kidding. It began to get blurry when I got my first job. I thought it was the best choice I’ve made after college, come to think of it, I think it’s the worst. I just feel kind of sad that I’m disappointed in it really—although I think this is just an outburst of my emotions because like you guys I also get fed up—and when I get fed up I feel like giving up because there’s no point in fighting for something that has no hope really. It’s like fighting a lost battle. A useless one.
I’m just happy to be writing again. I missed writing. Writing is like the best thing I’ve been doing in my life. I get to release my stress over a lot of things. I get to say things I don’t normally say to people (with the exception of my undying devotion for Lee Jinki or Kim Soohyun, for that matter). I’m more of a keep-it-to-myself type really,
unless I can’t contain myself anymore… when that happens I just cry. Luckily, I haven’t cried rivers of tears because of work. Almost, no I’m stronger than that. I think. Hopefully I won’t be shedding tears—I would look pathetic.
Let’s move on from those random outbursts and talk about the best things that happened this year to me. Well, there are a lot of things that happened. I think I should enumerate them neatly.
The best and worst things that happened to me in 2013:
1. Graduating University as Magna Cum Laude (and everything that came with that, like my experiences being a Communication major in FEU, and lemme just note that transferring to FEU was one of the best decisions I made in life—I still love you Sintang Paaralan, I just love Piyu more now)
2. Maintaining friendship with Lala, Leigh, and Ghel. After graduation, I just felt like cutting every string with everyone from University but these three made my life in there more meaningful—even if we were together for only a short while. Met Ghel during my sophomore year in FEU, she was from UST and I was from PUP. We were former Accountancy majors.
To hell with accountancy really, it was not for us. Met Lala and Leigh in 2011, we got close to them during our internship in GMA News and Public Affairs summer of 2012. And we four have become the best of friends since our senior year in University.
3. Book haul. I spent my
bajillionsthis year with books. In hopes of owning an awesome library someday, I bought a lot of books—ended up getting broken every two weeks because of it. Book haul extravaganza 2013. Something like that. I think I spent more than 10k on books only. Just imagine I could’ve bought a better phone with that amount of moolah but I actually regret nothing.
4. Investing on beauty products. Like make up. I
don’treally like dolling up. I only “doll up” on occasions like graduation, weddings, and important events like that but I don’t usually put blushes, lipsticks, mascara on my face on ordinary days but I’m about to change that in 2014. I already spent my Christmas money on kikay stuff. I also regret nothing about that, rly. It’s for self-improvement.
5. Meeting Lee Jinki. I
never actuallymet the guy. I mean, I only watch videos of him, listen to his songs, and just appreciate his beauty thru my computer screen. Again, I regret nothing. (Thanks to my cousin Issa for introducing me to SHINee’s Hello Baby, I was never the same person since)
6. Opening my heart to watching a Korean drama (it’s been a while since I was captivated by one really): You Who Came from the Stars. Kim. Soo. Hyun. You. Are. The. Best. Damn. Thing. That. Happened. To. My. December. Twenty. Thirteen. Marry Me. Lemme just say that The Heirs was
a big disappointment, out of 5 stars I’d give it a 3. I liked Chanyoung (CNBlue’s Minhyuk) and Bona (f(x)’s Krystal) over the lead couple.
1. Probably obsessing over Lee Jinki. I hate that I love the guy. He’s so unfair, he makes me fall for him, he says I love you to me but then there are also other girls he’s saying I love you to, too. I hate him for it, he’s such a
slut. I’m kidding. I know there are tons of Shawols out there who feel the same way for Onew ( Oppa, you’re my MVP, like I’m your MVP). It’s just sooo unfair that I love him but he doesn’t even know I exist. I exist Onew, be mine. (Ignore this one and move on to #2 plz)
2. Being where I work right now. I have this love-hate relationship with work. I just feel like I’m stressing over it too much—it’s unhealthy for me to worry over things really. I hate worrying too much. I go gaga when I worry. It unleashes the bipolar in me. Which is not good. Not good at all.
I have the slightest patience with incompetent people. I don’t like mediocrity when it comes to work that’s all. When you go to work, work. Don’t play. Know how to distinguish your play time with your work time. Be fair to others. Don’t underestimate your colleagues. Don’t look down on your subordinates. Get your ass to work, on time. Otherwise, the workplace wouldn’t be much of an inspiring place to work or to just plain be. (And I feel like I work better alone. Maybe I’m not meant for work like this. I feel soooo underestimated, like I’m not even able to use my full potential, I feel like a brainlesspuppet— I FUCKING FINISHED WITH HIGH HONORS!not that I’m bragging about it, but c’mon—Maybe I’m just tired, maybe)
3. This one goes to the person who I welcomed back to my life but left me eventually—not that this person intended on staying anyway. You know you’re who I’m talking about here, you may not be able to read this since you don’t know my Tumblog but I’ll write it anyway, just in case you start talking to me again.
I still feel like shitevery time I remember what happened, okay? And I know we will never be the way we used to be. But I still hoped. And it sucks that I knew that this could/would happen but I still welcomed you back. The feeling sucks okay? It sucks. Here’s the deal: don’t ever, ever introduce yourself to someone’s life when you have no intention of staying in that person’s life, capisce? Don’t lead someone on. If that’s part of your tactic into hurting me—to get back on me for “leaving” you before, it worked, but not to the extent that it would scar me for life.
4. Not earning anything because I’ve spent most of my money buying food (and other stuff I meantioned in my bests but I kinda said I don’t regret them). I like food okay? I like carbs. I like eating.
Let’s see, I was supposed to post just a full-length entry about my year-end thoughts but I guess, this would be too long (and my followers might hate me for flooding their dashboards). I think I’ll rewrite more tomorrow. Or on the first of January. And it’ll go something like, Random Beginning of the Year Thought for 2014. We’ll see… But for now lemme post this.
#SS501Reunion, October 26th 2013